Oppositional thoughts Volume 3 Amusing and lateral views on Career and HR Advice

Here is Volume 3 of my Oppositional Thoughts…They are designed to gently puncture some of the slightly precious life advice out there, and to complexify overly simplistic homilies, that make life appear a lot simpler than it is in reality.

Earlier volumes of Oppositional Thoughts can be found here (volume 1) and here (Volume 2)

Oppositional Thoughts..You can do anything if you have enthusiasm..It was what I was doing so enthusiastically that caused all the problems!

Oppositional thoughts…a cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing..what are the costs of doing this and is it valuable?

Oppositional Thoughts…feelings are everywhere, be gentle…Or on a crowded subway, feelings are everywhere so keep your hands to yourself

Oppositional thoughts..Just because there is a screen between us doesn’t mean you, or I,are less human, just that one of us is incarcerated.

Oppositional thoughts…I had a go at making money, but when it came out of the oven it didn’t look anything like the pictures in the book

Oppositional thoughts…identify self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back…?? But they are the ones that keep me out of jail!

Oppositional Thoughts…Cakes, flowers, dresses and dancing means wedding!…or Oh no I’ve just made a fool of myself at the village fete

Oppositional Thoughts…I asked myself the question “Can you tell us about yourself” and I haven’t stopped talking to myself ever since!!

Oppositional Thoughts…You must do the thing which you think you cannot do…It’s quite right.  I did, and I was right, I couldn’t do it!!

Oppositional Thoughts…casting doubt on a person – Ad Hominem, casting sweets/rappers Ad Eminem, casting Muppets Ad Mananamum, do do..

Oppositional thoughts…Your ability to generate power is directly proportional to your ability to relax…certainly better than prunes

Oppositional thoughts…Question every assumption you have in your head, only then can you start thinking creatively. I question that…

Oppositional thoughts…”First seek to understand, then seek to be understood”. No. “then seek to pick fault and ridicule”

Oppositional thoughts…One person with a belief is worth 99 people who have only interests… Sounds like a terrorist’s rationale

Oppositional thoughts…If you can imagine it,You can achieve it.If you can dream it,You can become it..which is a worry given my dreams!!

Oppositional thoughts…Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  Does this mean we should look for the inspiration in our socks?

Oppositional Thoughts…Say what you mean…but how do I know what I mean until I’ve said it?  Emergence rules!

Oppositional thoughts…If “There is no word like ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary”… I would advise the speaker to buy another dictionary

Oppositional Thoughts…Let’s get busy….but stop doing THAT!

Oppositional Thoughts…Make sure you always have a door and a window open, you never know which you would need to use. Or stop eating beans

Oppositional Thoughts…Fall down seven times, get up eight…or even later, sleep it off, and try to avoid the green chartreuse in future

Oppositional Thoughts… Do one thing that scares you every day….I did, and my case comes up next month in the District Court…

Oppositional thoughts…Pessimists complain about wind. Optimists expect it to change. Leaders adjust sails. Pragmatists spray air freshener

Oppositional Thoughts…An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can’t buy that inch of time with an inch of gold…except billable hours

Oppositional Thoughts…When I hear 5 keys to achieving success I assume it refers to a drunk’s  fifth attempt to open their front door…

Oppositional Thoughts…A goal WITH a plan is just a wish. A hope that all assumptions are correct and that the goal posts wont change.

Oppositional Thoughts…so much for guaranteed disappointment.  My disappointment failed after 3 days,when I returned it was out of warranty

Oppositional Thoughts…I admire my boss, he fired me with enthusiasm.  I’ve never seen a person so enthusiastic about sacking me…

Oppositional thoughts…I had a go at personal branding, but the branding iron slipped, and I’m now unique but I don’t like to talk about it

Oppositional Thoughts…Empowerment creates confident employees. It’s true, I attached electrodes to a colleague. They yelled confidently

Oppositional Thoughts…If at first you don’t succeed. Try poking it down with a stick…

Oppositional Thoughts…In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity A. Einstein or In the middle of difficulty lies might be an opportunity

Oppositional thoughts…never trust a person whose work has been spread over many fields, as they share this quality with manure

Oppositional thoughts…it is all very well to say giving is better than taking, but there were complaints about what I was giving to people

Oppositional Thoughts..With goals you must go for it. Why do I have to go for it?  Can’t I have someone else fetch it, or have it delivered?

Oppositional Thoughts…”It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” Not when you see what I was looking at!!

Oppositional Thoughts…What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Not in these pants…

Oppositional Thoughts..Let him that would move the world first move himself…Not in these pants…

Oppositional Thoughts..When you have the enthusiasm and the passion…you are probably at work and should think of something else

Oppositional thoughts…reporting that 100% of people demand air to live is not news. But say 100% of Gen Y demand air and it’s research!

Oppositional thoughts… do conditions apply to the phrase “conditions apply”?

Oppositional Thoughts…I was told to make a strong first impression in the interview.  So I gave them my Elvis and then my Lady Gaga. #fail

Oppositional Thoughts…my Welsh Springer spaniel likes to keep up with technology. She chases every Hybrid Prius down the road…

Oppositional Thoughts…The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open…and when you board a plane you prefer not to use it

Oppositional thoughts…”never trust anyone completely, you are bound to get deceived”. I distrust this sentiment.

Oppositional thoughts.”Leadership is no longer about position but passion” but show the passion in an incriminating position and get fired

Oppositional Thoughts..Life is only as good as you make it..I hope not, I’m rubbish at making things, and its good to admire others’ efforts

Oppositional Thoughts…Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?  Except obviously with those we don’t like,disapprove of, list is endless…

Oppositional Thoughts…“The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope.” – so next gen don’t get to own future?