Oppositional Thoughts Volume 9 – Amusing Sideways look at Careers, HR and Life Advice

Here is Volume 9 of my Oppositional Thoughts…They are designed to gently puncture some of the slightly precious life advice out there, and to complexify overly simplistic homilies, that make life appear a lot simpler than it is in reality.

You can find Volume 8 here Volume 7 hereVolume 6 hereVolume 5 here,  Volume 4 here,  Volume 3 here and Volume 2 here and Volume 1 here

Oppositional thoughts…”it is not the destination, it is the journey” is a philosophy I commend to everyone..except Taxi drivers…
Oppositional thoughts…I de-stressed by parking at side of the road to admire view, but patient’s screams made me get back in the ambulance
Oppositional thoughts…” What’s the best thing you could be doing…and why aren’t you doing it?” I am doing it but the police don’t suspect
Oppositional thoughts…”Trust that voice in ur head that says “Wouldn’t it be interesting if.. & then do it.”…normally a legal defence?
Oppositional thoughts..”The best progress makes us work less eventually”…this assumes work is best to be avoided rather than stimulating
Oppositional thoughts…”The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee” …then he cheated…
Oppositional thoughts…”Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto” but open a window 1st & dont admit it was u
Oppositional thoughts..”Life isn’t measured by the breathes we take but the moments that take our breath away.” life sounds like a staircase
Oppositional thoughts…”You don’t measure love by counting phone calls.”..no but you might measure hate that way when when the bill arrives
Oppositional thoughts..”Give man fish & u feed him for day. Teach him how to fish & u feed him for lifetime.”  or give him mercury poisoning
Oppositional thoughts…”Please just use what works for you and let go of the rest”…He obviously never did team rock climbing…
Oppositional thoughts…”If God is the DJ, then Life is the dance floor; Love is the rhythm”..and the bouncers wont let me into the club
Oppositional thoughts..”Nothing beats the balance between moments of explosive success with moments of body relieving stillness.” laxatives?
Oppositional thoughts..” My new diet is heavy on local, seasonal foods.” well McDonalds and KFC are local to me, open all seasons….
Oppositional thoughts… I was randomly chosen for a careers audit.  They said it was wrong to call mine a career & suggested “joke” instead
Oppositional thoughts…I’ve never understood the desire to maintain the Status Quo – I reckon they went downhill after Live Aid…..
Oppositional thoughts…”Adaptive capacity grows out of the ability to notice and distinguish, not to judge and dismiss”…rubbish. What?!
Oppositional thoughts…Do not smile too hard while asleep, people will assume you are a corpse
Oppositional thoughts…I’m going to be boarding a plane soon, u would have thought they’d have more sophisticated ways of covering windows
Oppositional thoughts… “Flash Foresight: How to See the Invisible and Do the Impossible”… I flashed my hindsight and got arrested…
Oppositional thoughts…I wanted to develop my brain in 2011 , but I couldn’t get planning permission from the council
Oppositional thoughts…“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.” – Mother Teresa…unless they are a tax inspector
Oppositional thoughts…it is good to tie one on in Ottawa in winter, but be careful what you tie it too! #frostbite #Cannexus
Oppositional thoughts….”I cannot discover that anyone knows enough to say definitely what is & what is not possible” so how can u say that
Oppositional thoughts…Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin …not if it is my steak you are talking about….
Oppositional thoughts…”Life is too short to waste time hating anyone”…So how long should it be that hating is no longer a waste of time?
Oppositional thoughts…Person A: Dialogue forms identity. Person B: No it doesn’t. Person A – Then I am nothing. Person B. Yup.
Oppositional thoughts…Leaders talk about the solutions. Followers talk about the problems. I have a problem & solution for that.What am I?
Oppositional thoughts…you know you’ve made it when you can outsource your autopoiesis…
Oppositional thoughts…if you find yourself always falling between two stools in your career, quit working in untidy path labs…
Oppositional thoughts…I attended a wellbeing convention & learned to be mindful…of the registration fees, & not to sit on the crystals
Oppositional thoughts…the Social Constructivist’s Conference was a failure, only one person turned up and he was only imagining it
Oppositional Thoughts…”Creativity is analyzing what others ignore.” then I will ignore that remark and analyze elsewhere…
Oppositional thoughts…”If you think education is expensive, try ignorance”…but then you wouldn’t be aware how much it costs…
Oppositional Thoughts.”Good morning from Milton Keynes it’s dark & 4C. What’s it like where u r now?” Worse I’m locked in your boot 🙂
Oppositional thoughts…”The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask”..rather than making statements about it?
Oppositional thoughts…”Those with guts are bound for glory!”…so there goes my diet again…..
Oppositional thoughts.”U’ll be surprised to know how far u can go from the point where u thought it was the end” if u can get coffin lid off
Oppositional thoughts…”The principle of art is to pause, not bypass” J.Kosinski…explains difference between Art and Heart operation…
Oppositional thoughts….”Be friendly or stay home.”….that’s not very friendly advice…
Oppositional thoughts…You were born an original. Don’t die a copy….Unless you were cloned of course…
Oppositional thoughts…Why do you do what you do?….because I like to keep the prison officers happy…