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Oppositional Thoughts Volume 5 Amusing sideways looks at Careers, HR and Life Advice

Oppositional Thoughts Volume 5 Oppositional thoughts are designed to gently puncture some of the slightly precious life advice out there, and to complexify overly simplistic homilies, that make life appear a lot simpler than it is in reality. I tweet them @thefactorypod as time, inspiration and opportunity arise.  We are now up to Volume 5, meaning up to 250 oppositional thoughts! Earlier volumes of oppositional thoughts You can find Volume 4 here and  Volume 3 here and Volume 2 here and Volume 1 here

  1. Oppositional thoughts…Career Advice: How to Spend the First and Last 10 Minutes of the Day…Career Advice? Personal hygiene surely…
  2. Oppositional thoughts…there were too many pricks in my last job,so I quit growing roses. All jerks in the next job, Tug-of-war not for me.
  3. Oppositional thoughts…I quit my job when they stopped serving free booze on my regular flight. No point continuing as an Airline Pilot…
  4. Oppositional thoughts…”personal branding” fixes an idea of person and limits the creative possibilities of people who change and emerge
  5. Oppositional thoughts…what’s so great about a balanced scorecard? It means its a draw, nil-nil,no winners. I want an imbalanced scorecard!
  6. Oppositional Thoughts…Planning pays. Noah built ark before rain..but it hasn’t stopped raining since they built the desal plant in Sydney
  7. Oppositional thoughts…Be true to yourself…only yourself?  What and lie through your teeth to everybody else?
  8. Oppositional Thoughts…Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second…unless you are eating curry
  9. Oppositional Thoughts…I’ve always been conflicted about self-actualising ever since a teacher caught me doing it in the bike sheds…
  10. Oppositional thoughts…to jump straight to the front of the queue, just phone the person on the desk and walk forward – phones trump people
  11. Oppositional Thoughts…you feel better if you let others have the final word, but what if they don’t say anything?!!
  12. Oppositional thoughts…“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”…and get arrested….
  13. Oppositional thoughts…You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who can never repay you…like the banks did
  14. Oppositional Thoughts…How do you push forward your best ideas? Break through the barrier of skepticism….hmm not sure about that
  15. Oppositional thoughts…Those that talk down to you…probably haven’t thrown their 1970s platform heels out of their wardrobe….
  16. Oppositional thoughts…”Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goals.”…and opportunities and better alternatives
  17. Oppositional thoughts…if my #newyearsresolutions are to break my new years resolutions does this increase the chances of me keeping them?
  18. Oppositional thoughts…I was told I was called and gifted..sounded great till I found out what they were calling me and what the gifts were
  19. Oppositional thoughts…Life is 90% how you handle it…of course you might get life for handling it in the first place….
  20. Oppositional thoughts…”Without goals, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination”.which allows a wonderful exploring cruise
  21. Oppositional thoughts…Only 3% of people are truly born to sell: Gallup…97% are falsely born to sell and do far better at it…
  22. Oppositional thoughts…I pulled out all the stops, but I couldn’t get the church organ to budge let alone go the extra mile
  23. Oppositional thoughts…I once saw two Professors come to blows in a corridor.  Is this the purest form of emotional intelligence?
  24. Oppositional thoughts…an exhausted Professor staggers out of a bar after a long drinking session.  Tired and emotional intelligence?
  25. Oppositional thoughts…there is no “I” in team, but I can find “U” in “bully and coerce a person to perform unnaturally close to coworkers”
  26. Oppositional Thoughts…I starting living the life I imagined, and then the owners returned from vacation and called the police…
  27. Oppositional Thoughts…I was encouraged by my counselor to tell the story of my life, who on hearing it remarked “it needs work”…
  28. Oppositional thoughts…To improve your career you need to change the story you are telling yourself, so I employed a team of scriptwriters.
  29. Oppositional thoughts… I had a flow moment at work, I went with it as my boss flushed my job down the sewer….
  30. Oppositional thoughts.”Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today”James Dean…for more driving tips see #rebelw/oaporsche
  31. Oppositional Thoughts… We all got a motivational talk about driving growth, so I got going driving the undergrowth
  32. Oppositional thoughts…I am trying to escalate my performance to the next level by drilling down, leaving holes in my elevator pitch
  33. Oppositional Thoughts…I was told to hit the ground running so I went jogging with a croquet mallet…
  34. Oppositional thoughts…customer focus can be bad. After I got glasses I could see my customers and realized I was in the wrong job
  35. Oppositional thoughts…I returned from my vacation recharged…I confess I thought my attorney had managed to get all the charges dropped
  36. Oppositional thoughts…how come we never hear about strategic subjectives? Does it feel right? Are we proud? Is it good?
  37. Oppositional thoughts…the ratings company Nielsen says teenagers are more likely to text than call…a phone poll presumably….
  38. Oppositional thoughts…”there is so much power in self-awareness”…unless your realization is that you are powerless….
  39. Oppositional thoughts…”become the change you seek”… I wanted to change weather, and became a windy depression with a slow moving front.
  40. Oppositional thoughts…”You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do”…I could if you only knew what I was going to do!….
  41. Oppositional thoughts..“Knowledge changes: to see us through an uncertain future is our ability to ask questions” …Agree..no question..!
  42. Oppositional thoughts…Interview tip. Always wear a tightly fitting gag to job interviews…it will stop any negative self-talk #jobsearch
  43. Oppositional thoughts….No one has ever made himself great by showing how small someone else is…try tell that to a Microbiologist
  44. Oppositional thoughts…Adversity allows us to go where we otherwise wouldn’t have gone…like prison..
  45. Oppositional thoughts…You can do anything if you have enthusiasm…what about being enthusiastically idle?
  46. Oppositional thoughts…Fools rush in…when they think they’ve spotted a New York Times bestseller bandwagon jumping opportunity
  47. Oppositional Thoughts..Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it…does that mean I shouldn’t retweet this?
  48. Oppositional thoughts…I tried an elevator pitch.. a curve ball that bounced off the doors and hit a passenger below their expectations
  49. Oppositional thoughts… A poet must leave traces of his passage…I doubt they’d agree with this in his laundromat….
  50. Oppositional thoughts…It is all very well to encourage letting go, but when I let one go in the lift, the looks were not encouraging

You can find Volume 4 here and  Volume 3 here and Volume 2 here and Volume 1 here